Presentation
by Professor Omar Hasan Kasule Sr. at Mombasa Kenya 16th August 2012
1.0 CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
A. Character And Behavior
B. Personality Traits
C. Moderation
D. Social Action
E. Principled Life
2.0 SELF-IMPROVEMENT
A. Effort To Improve
B. Objectives
C. Inter-Dependence
D. Positive Attitude
E. Futuristic Outlook
3.0 TAKING CHARGE
A. Assertiveness
B. Self Confidence And Self
Esteem
D. Self-Reliance:
E. Projecting A Positive Image
F. Entrepreneurial Attitude
4.0 SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT
A. Choosing A Spouse
B. Starting A Family
C. Maintaining A Family
D. Balance Between Work And
Family
E. Living In The Community
5.0 PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT
A. Education
B. Professional Success
C. Professional Networking
D. Economic Empowerment
E. Trials And Tribulations
1.0 CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
A. CHARACTER and BEHAVIOR
Character is what determines what
type of individual you are. Good character is a great virtue. The best gift
that a parent can give a child is good character. Habits and behaviors are
quite consistent. Behavior is likely to be repeated. When you observe bad
behavior even once make a note of it because it is likely to be repeated.
Character is internal and is related to basic personality. Behavior is its
outward manifestation. A habit is a persistent, repeated behavior which after a
time becomes unconscious. You can not judge people’s character unless you have
interacted with them and seen their behavior. Bad manners and behavior reflect
a bad character. Good behavior reflects good character. There are exceptional
situations when a behavior may not be reflection of underlying character. These
are the exceptions and are only temporary. Consistent observation of behavior
over a long time reveals true character.
The following are some of the
components of a positive character: Piety, generosity, charity, chastity,
trust, humility, balance, moderation, patience, endurance, cooperation,
forgiving, ignoring stupid company, reconciliation, honor and dignity, shyness,
modesty, integrity, courage, and wisdom. These traits are best manifested in an
atmosphere of positive attitudes, optimism, and behavior. Positive behavior
includes: controlling the appetite by eating little, fasting, sexual
self-control, fulfilling needs of others, mercy, good words and acts; and good
deeds which wipe out bad ones.
B. PERSONALITY TRAITS
Integrity, amanat, is
when actions are in conformity with your values. Values are universal.
Knowledge of what is bad is innate. The Prophet (PBUH) taught that evil is what
scratches your chest making you uncomfortable, al sharr ma haaka fi al sadr. Religious teachings of what is right
and what is wrong only reinforce what good nature already knows. Integrity in
essence means successfully carrying and discharging the trust. The trust may be
moral or material. Moral trusts include being truthful, trustworthy, and
keeping promises and undertakings. Material trusts are property and financial
rights of others that must not be violated. Integrity is needed in work,
leadership, and moral guidance of others. A distinguishing human attribute of
humans is acceptance to carry trust, haml
al amanat. A person with integrity fulfils the trust, adau al amanat. Believers are conscious of the trust, ri'ayat al amanat. Any breach of
integrity is a breach of the trust, khiyanat al amanat. Never utter an
untruth. It is better to keep quiet even in situations in which silence makes
you look a fool. There are no white lies. All lies are an untruth and should
never be uttered. Your promises and commitments are sacred. Never make any if
you are not sure of keeping them. Keeping promises indicates both integrity and
efficiency. An organized person who knows what he can or can not do and who
manages his time well is less likely to make promises he can not keep.
Courage, shaja'at,:The essence of courage is
to stand up to evil with the full realisation that such a stand may invite
unpleasant consequences for you. This is under the general rubric of forbidding
evil, nahy al munkar. The supreme level of courage is to face one self
and stand up to the inner desires and passions, hiwa al nafs. The high level of courage is to attempt to change
evil physically. The middle level is to speak out against it evil. The lowest
level is to hate evil in the heart. Courage is needed morally, physically, and
emotionally. Moral courage is needed to know your-self, self-criticize, and
decide to improve. Social courage is needed to stick to morally right choices
in your life even though the society around you may behave differently.
Physical courage is needed to stand up for your rights and face the
consequences.
Wisdom, hikmat, is a sign of maturity. Being given hikmat is being given
a lot of good. Learn the difference between ‘ilm
and hikmat. ‘Ilm is knowledge. Hikmat
is a higher level of understanding and using knowledge taking into
consideration previous experiences and high moral guiding principles. You are
better off with less knowledge and more hikmat. A lot of 'ilm
with no hikmat is positively dangerous.
Patience, sabr, is needed
to deal with problems of life. Problems must be met with inner strength and a
sense of hope. Lack of patience is associated with wrong choices and moves.
Endurance and perseverance are part of patience. Patience and perseverance is
the ability to stick it out and weather all adversities with a strong heart.
You must arm yourself to avoid the human tendency to be impatient in
expectation of an event or when afflicted by a calamity.
Humility, tawadhu'u,.is
the beginning of wisdom and is part of iman. Know that you have limitations. Do
not deceive yourself that you are superior whatever you may be endowed with.
Always remember that there are others who may be your equals or actually better
than you. Whatever you may have, you are insignificant in front of Allah the
Almighty.
Self-restraint, 'Iffat,:Iffat has a lot of rewards,
ajr al iffat. The Qur'an has discussed it in many verses. This is
because a human has passions and inner evil promptings that if not controlled
will lead to evil action. There are also many temptations in the external
social environment that can lead to evil unless countered by a strong
self-restraint and self-control. Sex is the most powerful drive in humans that
can lead to evil. Chastity and sexual discipline is necessary for individual
and societal well being. Keep away from zina and what could lead to it. Zina is
taken in its comprehensive sense and not the physical act of fornication. Zina
of the eye, the mouth, the toungue are destructive to marriage and society in
general.
Modesty, haya,:Haya is a very important component of
character and is considered part of iman. To be modest is to set limits beyond
which there is immorality and sin. A modest person stays shy of those limits
and will refrain from things that are clearly permissible but if done in excess
can lead to transgression of the limits. Such transgression could also occur by
mistake with no malicious intent. Haya
is part of iman. The whole character
of Islam is based on it, khulq al Islam
al haya. The Prophet said that if one has no haya at all then he can do
anything. Haya is therefore the protecting barrier against evil. Haya is always good and can never be
negative, al haya khayr kullihi. Haya
is a decoration of the person who has it, al haya ziinat. Haya is
the way of all messengers, al haya min
sunan al mursalin.
Simplicity is beauty and power. Make your daily life simple; you
will get strength. Do not live in much luxury or crowd your mind with so much
of worldly, dunia, concerns. Consider
your physical environment as an aid to fulfilling your mission and not an end
in itself. Wealth and its accumulation can be a temptation, fitnat.
C. MODERATION
Equilibrium and moderation, i'itidaal&wastiyyat:
Moderation is the best approach. Be balanced in your attitudes and actions.
Avoid extreme positions because you can never have all the facts and full
understanding of a particular situation. Taking a middle path gives you a
chance to change positions and follow what is right and what is best. You
however should never be moderate where evil and immorality are concerned. You
must take a clear and extreme position for what is moral and right. Stick your
head up high to be counted among supporters of the good and the moral and among
opponents of evil. Your actions regarding an evil situation should, however, be
moderate to avoid creating new problems that may be worse than the original
problem. Be moderate in expenditure; not wasteful and not miserly. Be calm and
controlled in moments of emotional arousal, good and bad. Wrong and
inappropriate decisions are likely at moments of anger or emotional excitement
when the normal balance is lost
D. SOCIAL ACTION
Good acts and words, al hasanaat,
wipe away or neutralize the bad. You should hasten to do good. While always
engaged in doing good, there is little room for the bad. Never injure anyone
with your tongue. Say good or keep quiet. Learn to work with others in doing
good and forbidding bad. Sharing and helping others helps you become even a
better human being. It gives you a sense of mission beyond your physical needs.
Give charity continuously; it cleanses both your wealth and your soul. Putting
interests of your brothers in front of yours helps you discover your humanity
and conquers your egoistic tendencies. Iithaar
involves doing good for others at the expense of some inconvenience to yourself
for the sake of brotherhood with no expectation of any reward. Respecting the
rights of the older people. Removing any annoyance from the road.
Keep good company. Look for and stay in the company of wise people.
You will learn the good from them. Their company will reinforce the good in
you. Time spent in such good company is time taken away from possible bad
company or bad influences. Do not trust or deal with bad people except in
trying to correct and lead them to the right. Ignore stupid and immoral
company. They will have a negative impact on you however careful you are. The
least they can do is to decrease your sensitivity to evil and increase your
toleration for it.
E. PRINCIPLED LIFE
Principled and purposive life:
You must have a principled life. To succeed you must be guided in life by
high moral principles and not expediency. You must make responsible choices and
stick with their consequences. You must understand that there are limits to
freedom. You may be constrained by previous commitments in making a new choice.
After making the first choice you have only a limited range of later choices
that you can make. A complete and well- balanced personality requires
consistency, constancy and moving ahead following well defined goals and
milestones. Life must have a purpose and goals. The highest purpose is
achieving the pleasure of Allah. In addition to seeking the pleasure of Allah,
you must set personal goals both long and short term. The goals have to be
reasonable expectations, and imaginative. Personal goals must be specific,
actionable, attainable, and challenging. You must be committed to the goals and
must be attuned to any feedback that helps refine or modify goals. If you are
without a clear sense of direction, you will make many mistakes and eventually
fail. Personal goals should stay permanent for a reasonable period of time.
Frequent shifting of goal posts is a cause of failure.
2.0 SELF-IMPROVEMENT
A. EFFORT TO IMPROVE
You can not improve yourself
without effort. You must make the intention to be a better person and take
action to achieve your goals. Life is not chance. Everything that occurs is
pre-destined. You however do not know your predestination. You have to work
hard, search for it, use your will power and choice that Allah gave you. Accept
personal responsibility for mistakes. Do not blame others for your problems.
Learn from your past experiences, positive and negative. Good manners or experiences
should be reinforced while bad ones should be avoided.
B. OBJECTIVES
ULTIMATE OBJECTIVES
Keep in mind always the three
ultimate objectives: (a) the pleasure of Allah, ridha al laah & marudhaat al llaah, (b) wisdom, hikmah, and (c) success, falaah. The real and ultimate success is
that of the hereafter.
HAPPINESS
Happiness is not an objective in
life. Pursuing happiness can be running after an illusion since happiness is
not definable. The realistic objective is contentment and satisfaction with yourself
and what you have. However contentment should not be understood in a negative
sense of refusing to take active steps to improve some of the negative things
in your character and behavior.
NEEDS VS WANTS
Learn to distinguish between what
you want and what you need. Wants are emotional; needs are rational. Always
choose needs over wants. Be realistic. Do not live in a dream world. Dreaming
is good in motivating you and developing your creative thinking. Dreaming has
limits if it obscures correct perception of reality. Never entertain illusions
about your strengths and weaknesses. Never deceive yourself. Never allow others
to deceive you by praising you and giving you attributes you lack. Such persons
are your true enemies. Confront your weaknesses and do not deny them. Do
something about correcting them
C. INTER-DEPENDENCE
You can not succeed on your own;
this is a world of interdependence. You must learn to net-work and collaborate
with others in synergistic relations. Good manners and behavior are necessary
for positive and meaningful interaction with people. You need to learn to
respect and protect the rights of others so that your rights may also be
respected. Every action, behavior, or habit has consequences. Always consider
and think about the long-term consequences before you speak or act.
D. POSITIVE ATTITUDE
Develop a positive attitude. Be
optimistic and develop positive behavior. The world is essentially good and the
hereafter much better. There is more good than evil. You can always succeed in
the long-run if you do not become pessimistic and give up. Look at problems of
life in perspective. What may look big may not be so in the long run. You may
hate today what turns out to be good tomorrow. See and emphasize the positive
in any problem.
E. FUTURISTIC OUTLOOK
You should consider yourself as
living in the future. Life on earth is just a transition. Always prepare for
the future (both what remains of your life on earth and life in the hereafter).
A futuristic outlook will enable you to deal with setbacks of life. You should
always know that the future could always be better.
3.0 TAKING CHARGE
A. ASSERTIVENESS
Assertiveness: Assertiveness is a feeling of self-worth in dealing with others. It
involves a lot of self-control. Non-assertive people may end up being influenced
by a bad environment or they may make wrong choices that they regret later.
Non-assertive persons can not interact well with others because they can not
state their opinions or advance their interests or the interests of the group
they belong to. A non-assertive attitude becomes in the long run a feeling of
inferiority that could be exploited. Non-assertive persons may feel so bad
about themselves that they eventually react in socially destructive ways.
Non-assertive persons are easily influenced by bad company and end up
committing evil. Assertiveness is not aggression but is closely related. Do not
cross the line between the two. You can show anger without being bad. Learn to
state your opinion without being hostile. Learn to defend your position without
being defensive.
Self-control: Being assertive is learning to take
control. A person who has self-control can stand up to the temptations of shaitan. The following are needed for
you to take control of your self: self- confidence, self-esteem, self-reliance,
self-control, self-discipline, and self-development.
Self-discipline: Self
discipline is needed for success. Control your whims and emotions. Stickability
is a good trait; do not accept defeat easily. Act according to long-term and
not short-term interests. Do not act impulsively. Follow your head and not your
emotions. Trust your instincts.
B. SELF CONFIDENCE and SELF ESTEEM
Self-confidence: Self-confidence
is to know yourself, your strengths and weaknesses, to be comfortable with what
you are, and to be psychologically secure. Children are born with a lot of
self-confidence. They lose it as they grow through various negative
experiences. Others’ views and comparing one self with others are among the
causes of loss of self-confidence. True confidence is expressed and shows
quietly. Many inconfident people make noise to hide their inner weakness.
Self-esteem:You can raise your self-esteem by being secure
psychologically about yourself. You must accept and appreciate what you are.
You have to love yourself and know that whatever Allah endowed you with is the
best for you. Look around you and identify people you admire. Try to emulate
the qualities you admire in them. Stay with good people who radiate self-esteem
and confidence. Congratulate and encourage yourself on any progress you make in
emulating good behavior. Learn to compliment and congratulate others who have
traits and behaviors that you admire. This will keep you from negative
attitudes and diseases like envy and will push you along on the road to
developing your own self-esteem. Avoid people with bad character and behavior.
Others who do not know will consider you to be one of them. It is easier for a
big mountain to move than for bad character to change. Do not repeat a mistake.
Remember that character is consistent. Bad behavior is rarely an accident. It
can be forgiven but can not be erased
D. SELF-RELIANCE:
Self-help and self-improvement
are very important for the individual. They are in essence taking charge of
your life, relying on yourself in solving problems, and taking the initiative
to improve. It is only emotionally mature individuals who can rely on
themselves. Dependency is childhood. Self-help and self-reliance should however
not be taken to the extreme. There are occasions when you need help and must
have networks for providing this help. Refusing to ask for help when needed is
a cause of stress and is not wise. Economic self-reliance is necessary in order
not to be a burden on others and also to assert your self-esteem. However the
need to keep your self-esteem should never make you refuse to seek help when
you actually need it. A vital distinction must be made between being childish
and child-like. Childishness is dependency and inability to achieve emotional
maturity, self-confidence, and self-esteem. Child-like on the other hand is a
very positive attribute. It emphasizes being explorative, taking initiative,
being bold to experiment, being optimistic, and not feeling defeated or
cornered. These behaviors are found in children and tend to annoy parents. They
are very useful for the adult. The mistake is for children to grown up too soon
or for adults to regress to childhood in the way they use these attributes.
E. PROJECTING A POSITIVE IMAGE
Projecting a positive image helps
build credibility and leads to success. We are not talking about a phoney image
that is discovered sooner or later with disastrous consequences. The image must
be backed up by real achievements. It is better to under promise but over
deliver. Perceptions are very strong determinants of behavior. You have to keep
away from negative perceptions and cultivate positive ones. Two individuals
looking at the same reality have different perceptions because of their prior
life experiences. Always evaluate yourself. The perceived image may not be the
intended image. The difference is crucial. Self- confidence and self-discipline
are ingredients of a positive image. You have to start by discovering your
strengths and enhancing them. You have to acknowledge your weaknesses and
compensate for them. A positive image needs maintenance by regular
self-evaluation and taking corrective action where needed. A positive image
must be maintained in difficult times; this will require extra effort. Keeping
company with people who have a positive self-image will help you develop your
own image. Positive thinking is contagious; it spreads to those around. Your
communication with others (letter, fax, telephone, and conversation) is an
exercise in image projection. Physical appearance (clothes, hair, cleanliness)
also project image. Dress well but not for arrogance. Good manners, correct
etiquette, and sensitivity enhance the image. Your voice, handshake, smiles,
body language, and eye contact can make or unmake your image. Your posture and
manner of walking can tell a lot about you. Solving your personal problems and
keeping out of depression, anxiety or stress help maintain your positive
self-image.
F. ENTREPRENEURIAL ATTITUDE
You need to develop an
entrepreneurial attitude. This requires developing initiative, optimism, and
self-confidence in order to bolster your creativity. Take calculated risks.
Look for opportunities and exploit them. Perseverance and determination are
necessary for continued success.
4.0 SOCIAL and PRFOFESSIONAL
DEVELOPMENT
A. SETTING AND MAINTAIMNING A
FAMILY
CHOOSING A SPOUSE: getting
married and starting a family is a natural drive that cannot be put off for
long or forever. It is an important link in the cycle of human development
starting with infancy and childhood and evolving into early adulthood. The
adult marries and gets children to start the next generation. The family
provides physical and psychological protection for children to grow well into
adults who will continue the cycle of human growth. The choice of the right
spouse is the beginning of success. Wrong choices result in family failure and
eventual breakdown with adverse effects on the children and the parents. It is
therefore very important to marry a compatible spouse. There is no absolutely
‘right’ spouse for all but there is a right spouse for each person. For success
each young adult must search for a partner who is compatible. This does not
mean a carbon copy. It also does not mean 100% compatibility because that does
not happen in practice. The best that we should look for is maximum
compatibility and minimum incongruences.
STARTING A FAMILY: the family
officially starts with marriage ceremonies but does not become complete until
children appear. The family needs a geographical niche called a home that
provides protection from outside interference (social and physical) to enable
the family leave as a unit and nurture one another.
MAINTAINING A FAMILY: It is not
enough to start a family for it to survive. Active efforts are needed to maintain
it. These involve dealing with conflicts and challenges. The family requires
protection and promotion.The family must be able to provide the physical needs
of its members including food and healthcare.
BALANCE BETWEEN WORK AND FAMILY:
It is a paradox that the young adult who needs time and energy to look after
the family has at the same time to work and provide for the family. Work and
family responsibilities compete for time and establishing the right equilibrium
is often not easy. If the equilibrium veers towards the career, family life is
impaired. If the equilibrium veers towards the family, career development is
impaired.
B. LIVING IN THE COMMUNITY
DUTIES AND RIGHTS: Living in a
community entails accepting communal duties and responsibilities. If not
controlled, they may interfere adversely with personal or family interests.
Living in a community also has its benefits that come in the form of rights and
privileges. Honest and upright community members fulfill their duties to their
best ability. They in return enjoy the rights and privileges of community
membership. Dishonest members of the community seek to enjoy the rights without
giving back to the community. If such selfish attitude is widespread in the
community, community welfare will be impaired to the detriment of all its
members.
CONFLICT OF DUTIES: A member of
the community must balance community duties with family duties. Personal duties
must be balanced against community duties. There are no hard and fast rules for
finding the right balance. Most people follow existing community norms. In the
end an individual must be guided by inner conscience and personal priorities in
making the right choices. These priorities should however not be selfish ones.
They should take into account family and community interests. If one acts
according to well selected priorities success is more likely and there will be
more satisfaction.
TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS:Allah
cannot leave people without trying them. The trials distinguish the good from
the bad. Trials distinguish those who struggle from those who do not. People
are tried like those who came before. Some people turn around when tried.
C. PROFESSIONAL EDUCATION AND
TRAINING
BASIC EDUCATION: A good basic
education in childhood is the foundation for adult professional success. A weak
foundation in primary and secondary school leads to severe professional
handicaps. The basic preparation involves literacy (language) and numeracy
(basics of quantitative methods). Above these two is the socialization at school
to live as a member of a community and the discipline to work in a structured
way. Most professions today require many years of education starting from
elementary through secondary school to college.
POSTGRADUATE EDUCATION: College
education is no longer sufficient for most of today’s professions. Postgraduate
education and training are a minimum.
PROFESSIONAL TRAINING: There is a
difference between education that is academic and training that is practical. A
good general and wide education is necessary for any profession. The
specialized nature of professions requires
D. PROFESSIONAL SUCCESS
GOOD CHARACTER: Having a good
character that generates trust and respect among peers and superiors is the
most important factor in professional success. This must be genuine character
and not acting out.
APPRECENTICESHIP / MENTORING: A
young adult starting out on the ladder of professional success should attach
himself or herself to an established elder professional who can act as a mentor
and as a guide. The mentor-mentee relationship must be genuine. The mentee must
respect the mentor and not look at him or her as a ladder to step on and to be
discarded as soon as the professional goals are achieved.
SETTING GOALS and TIME FRAME
GROWTH
DELIVERY OF QUALITY RESULTS and
NOT PR
PROFESSIONAL NETWORKING: (a) IDENTIFICATION
OF STRATEGIC PARTNERS: Mutual benefit and not manipulating or using people (b)
widening circles: MUSLIM CIRCLES, PROFESSIONAL CIRCLES, WIDER SOCIAL CIRCLES,
political networking, NURTURING CONTACTS
E. ECONOMIC EMPOWERMENT
- OBJECTIVE OF SELF-EMPLOYMENT
- LONG-TERM DEVELOPMENT PLAN
- ACCUMULATION OF ASSETS:
- INVESTMENT STRATEGY
- MUSLIM ECONOMIC BASE
5.0 GROUP DISCUSSIONS (to be
given later)
