Prepared for presentation at the 3rd International Seminar on 'Medical Curriculum: The Holistic Approach' organized jointly by the Islamic Medical Association of Malaysia. The Federation of Islamic Medical Associations, and the International Islamic University, Malaysia at Hospital Universiti Kebangsaan, Cheras, Malaysia 19-21 February 1999 by Prof Dr Omar Hasan Kasule, Sr. Deputy Dean for Research and Post-graduate Affairs, Kulliyah of Medicine, International Islamic University, Malaysia
ABSTRACT
The paper is written from the premise that professional ethics and the character of the physician can not be considered apart from general moral principles. Thus the character expected of the physician is the same ideal of character that is expected from righteous people in society. Character is based on personality. Character building starts with tazkiyat which is self-purification and improvement of personality. Tazkiyat is achieved by remembrance of Allah, fulfilling acts of ibadat, and emulating the behavior of the prophets, the companions, and the righteous. Further development of character is achieved by living a principled and purposive life while making constant efforts at self-improvement, assertiveness, and self-confidence. The main ingredients of an ideal character are: integrity, courage, wisdom, patience, humility, self-restraint, modesty, and moderation.
Key words: personality, character, personal development
1.0 PERSONALITY
1.1 DESCRIPTION OF PERSONALITY
Definition: Personality is the totality of behavior of an individual with a given tendency system. Tendency means there is consistency.
Variations: People’s personalities are different (Sahih al Bukhari 4:461 hadith # 699). Classification of people into neat and clear personality types is not easy. This is because each individuals exhibits characteristics of more than one personality type depending on the situation. For example Abubakr was known as a soft person whereas Omar was known as the tough person. When the prophet passed away, Abubakr was firm while Omar was temporarily overwhelmed. It was the soft-spoken Abubakr who was determined to wage war against the apostates while Omar was advising restraint. Thus when we describe an individual as having a certain personality we are referring to the dominant characteristics without necessarily denying existence of any others.
Spectrum: The personality spectrum is quite wide. At one end are personalities in which negative attributes predominate and the other extreme are personalities in which the positive attributes predominate. Some acts of nobility may be found in hardened criminals. Some good people may in moments of weakness succumb to evil temptations. Most people are average having both the good and the bad. The exceptionally good and strong personalities are rare. The Prophet said that out of 100 persons you can hardly find one that fits the description of being exceptional (Sahih al Bukhari 8:3341 hadith #505). There is a modal personality for a community that is considered the ideal for that community. This is usually much below the universal ideal that is described by the Qur’an and the sunnat of the Prophet (PBUH) (Hayat al Sahabat 3:459-460)
1.2 THE NAFS AS THE ESSENCE OF PERSONALITY
Nafs and the physical body: The essence of a person is the nafs and not the physical body. Thus personality or behavior are referred to the nafs. The Qur'an expounds in very clear terms a distinct concept of individual creation, growth, and development. A human being is both body and soul, matter and spirit. It is the unique balance between the two contrasts that makes humans what they are, the highest creation.
Fitrat: The original condition of the human being is that of fitrat which is uprightness. A human being is born in a natural state of purity, fitrat al Islam. The potentials to do good or bad exists at the beginning. It is the early environment that determines how those potentials are enhanced. If the environment is good, the good potentials are promoted. If the environment is bad the bad potentials are encouraged.
1.3 STATES OF THE NAFS
The Qur’an has described several states of nafs, maraatib al nafs. The lowest rung is the tendency to evil, nafs ammarah (12:53). The next higher level is conscience and concern with moral rectitude, nafs lawamah (75:2). The third and highest level manifests in 6 ways: inspiration to piety and taqwah, nafs mulhamah (91:8); satisfaction, nafs qanu’ah; calmness, nafs mutma’inna (p. 1258 89:27); being appreciative, nafs radhiyah (89:27-28); being appreciated by Allah, nafs mardhiyat (89:27-28), and perfection, nafs kamilah. The nafs that has achieved perfection is one that has rid itself of all negative attributes and has acquired all the positive ones.
1.4 DETERMINANTS OF PERSONALITY.
The factors that determine the development of personality are: biological inheritance, physical environment, the culture, socialization, group and unique individual experiences. With the exception of biological inheritance, all these factors can be manipulated for good or for bad. A person has the capacity to overcome many disabilities in the basic personality. Thus behavior does not always reflect the underlying personality. It is this capacity for self-improvement, taking charge, and striving for the best that makes humans morally responsible.
1.5 CHANGE OF PERSONALITY
It is a matter of disagreement whether personality once set is permanent or is changeable. The moderate view is that personality is fairly constant and only minor modifications can be made to it in later life. Personality is set quite early in life. It can change during life but these changes are minor. This emphasizes the importance of education and training early in life when the personality is still malleable and can be modified in the desired way.
1.6 SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT
Spirituality is a major component of personality. Spirituality in Islam unlike other religions has practical manifestations at the individual and societal levels because Islam is a practical religion. Spiritual development starts with close observations of all acts of worship. The second step is avoiding all immoral attitudes, tendencies, values, and sins (major and minor). The third step is promoting the moral and good at the individual or societal levels.
1.7 INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT
Intellectual development helps improve personality. You must develop your mind continuously and actively. A mind left unused soon deteriorates. Get general as well as specialized knowledge. Observe phenomena of life carefully and try to learn from each as much as you can. Read as much as you can and as widely as possible. Visit other places to widen your knowledge. Always look for and deliberate on the signs of Allah in His creation. You can learn a lot by mixing and exchanging views with people from other cultures. Listen to thinkers and knowledgeable people. Try to stay around them as much as possible. Discuss with others. Exchange ideas so that you make check your ideas or pick up new ideas. Try to concentrate your thinking about particular problems and try to work out solutions.
1.8 POLLUTION OF THE PERSONALITY
The individual must struggle against natural tendencies to evil. This tendency can, if unchecked, lead to diseases of the heart, amradh al qalb. The Qur’an guides this struggle and leads it to a successful conclusion if it is followed well. The proper development of the nafs can be contaminated by the following common diseases: covetousness, shuhh (59:9); passion, shahwat; pride 'ujub (4:49); evil, fujuur (9: 8); base desires, hiwa al nafs (53:23); and waswasat (50:16). These pollutants may have inner prompting within the human. However they are mostly from the external environment which either introduces the contamination or encourages the inner negative prompting. A clean social environment will produce people with clean personalities. A corrupt environment will produce corrupt persons.
2.0 CONCEPT OF TAZKIYAT
2.1 TAZKIYAT IN THE QUR'AN
The Qur'an has discussed tazkiyat in many verses (3:164). Tazkiyat is of cardinal importance in both the spiritual and social development of a person. One of the purposes of sending prophets is to ensure tazkiyat for humans. The historical record shows that the sending of messengers to various communities coincided with moments of excessive immortality or deviation from the truth. It is at such moments that the process of tazkiyat is most needed.
2.2 THE FIRST CONVENANT
Allah took a covenant from all humans before they came to earth that they would worship Him and Him alone (7:172-173). Tazkiyat is fulfillment and return to the first covenant between humans and Allah. Allah got a covenant from all human souls before they were created that they would obey Allah. When humans commit sins they are breaking that covenant. Tazkiyat as a process helps humans stick to their part of the covenant.
2.3 TAZKIYAT AND PERSONALITY
Tazkiyat is the basis for development and improvement of the personality. It is a long, pro-active, and uphill task. It is not an easy esoteric rite or overnight formula. Misunderstanding of tazkiyat manifests when people look for quick methods of becoming better. Some may visit graves of the righteous, some may repeat certain supplications for a given number of times. Yet others subject themselves to physical suffering in the hope that will lead to spiritual purity. All of these are forms of escapism from facing the real challenges of tazkiyat.
2.4 TAZKIYAT IS BY ALLAH
Allah purifies whom He wants (4:49). All human effort at tazkiyat should always be accompanied by supplication, dua, for Allah's intervention without which human effort will bear no fruit. On the other hand, it is wrong for a human to make no effort and passively expect Allah to intervene. Humans must play their role before expecting Allah's help.
2.5 HUMAN EFFORTS TOWARD TAZKIYAT
The human can do a lot to purify the nafs. The Qur'an talks about humans who purified themselves and about human efforts toward purification (35:18). Humans have been described by the Qur'an as clean (19:19). Some human self-purification, tazkiyat, involves: correct and firm aqidat, fulfillment of acts of ibadat, avoiding the forbidden, generally being conscious of the creator, and constant meditation about the creation. This is followed by personal development and improvement which consist of a good character and behavior; assertiveness, and self-confidence. An individual may not succeed alone. Living in a righteous community surrounded by others is necessary to motivate and encourage purification. Islam is a practical religion. Achievement of purity is through action. Good behavior, avoiding bad behavior, and being strong and assertive in making correct choices is the practical way to purity.
3.0 METHODOLOGY OF TAZKIYAT
3.1 PRELIMINARIES OF PURIFICATION OF THE NAFS
Good intentions, niyyat hasanat: (4:100): Tazkiyat is not accidental. It is a pro-active process. It must be based on the good and sincere intention to please Allah and get near Him. The process of tazkiyat can not be sustained if done for other reasons.
Commitment, ikhlaas (98:5): Tazkiyat can be a difficult process especially at the start. Some may try and think of giving up. Continuing commitment is needed to be able to travel all the way to the end of the process.
Being true, sidq ( 9:119): The person undertaking tazkiyat must be true to self, to others and to Allah. True to self means understanding and accepting yourself as you are with all the negatives and positives such that the negatives can be suppressed while the positives can be enhanced. Being true to others is saying and acting according to the truth and never deceiving or giving the wrong impressions.
Earnest entreaty to Allah, al tadharu'u ila al l laah (6:43): Tazkiyat requires that a very strong desire and longing to turn to Allah and get near Him. This gives a sense of direction and a sense of purpose to the tazkiyat efforts.
3.2 TAZKIYAT AT THE CONCEPTUAL LEVEL
Answering the call of Allah, al istijabat li llaah: The path is virtue is the straight path, al siraat al mustaqiim. Humans must stick to the straight path, al istiqamat ala al tariiq (6:126). Sticking to the straight path has a lot of virtues (41:30-32). Those who stick to the path of virtue are answering the call of Allah, al istijabat li laah (8:24). The misguided ignore this call or turn away from it. They end up following the wrong paths that lead them to perdition.
Renouncing materialism, al zuhd fi al duniya: Zuhd is giving priority to the after life, ithaar al akhirat. Preferring the material world, iithaar al duniyat, is severely condemned by the Qur'an (79:37-39). The hereafter is better than the material world, tafdhiil al akhirat ala al duniyat (3:14-15). Zuhd has been misunderstood by many down the centuries. It does not mean withdrawal from life and making no contribution to the building of a material civilization. Neither does it mean refusing to enjoy the bounties that Allah put on the earth for the benefit of humans. Living like a hermit may not be the total or only meaning of zuhd. Zuhd means belittling materialism and having a correct relation to material goods as things to be used by humans in the fulfillment of their duties to Allah and not as masters who control human behavior. A person may own a lot of money and material goods but he knows that in front of Allah they are worth very little. He will not be intoxicated by nor worship material goods. He will have a higher scale of values that he refers to. His maximum pleasure will not be attained by material possessions. Zuhd also means not selling eternal values for the sake of temporary material advantage on earth; such a trade is indeed a losing trade. A human should live on earth as a stranger, ghariib, or a traveler, abir sabiil, (Kunuuz al Sunnat 236) in the knowledge that the life in the hereafter is eternal and that all the time spent on earth should be used to prepare for the hereafter.
Vigilance against shaitan, al hadhr min al shaitan: Shaitan is an enemy of humans (2:168). A human who wants to stay pure must be vigilant against shaitan's influence (6:142). Shaitan has limited influence over human action (Kunuuz al Sunnat 49). He causes waswasat (7:20-22). He leads astray, ighwa al shaitan (15:37-43). Shaitan is never away from humans. Every human has a shaitan around him or her (Kunuuz al Sunnat 106). The Prophet in a very revealing metaphor said that shaitan circulates in the human body as does the blood (Kunuuz al Sunnat 49). Shaitan will always try to confuse humans. He for example will attempt to prevent the human from waking up in the morning to pray (Kunuuz al Sunnat 48). The human is however not helpless against shaitan. There are many simple actions that will chase shaitan away and all of these are part of the process of tazkiyat. The sound of adhan makes the shaitan run away (Kunuuz al Sunnat 48). Reading Qur'an also chases away shaitan. Thus a human who is regular in prayer and recites the Qur'an often as a guide to life will be vigilant against the machinations of shaitan.
3.3 TAZKIYAT BY DHIKR
Remembrance of Allah, dhikr: Dhikr has many virtues (Kunuuz al Sunnat 241). Allah orders humans to remember Him, al amr bi dhikr al llaah. The Qur'an calls upon humans to remember Allah a lot, al ikthar min al dhikr (8:45). Dhikr is at all times (3:41). Neglect of dhikr is severely condemned (4:142). It should be remembered that all human action if done with the correct intention and according to the sharia is worship and is a type of dhikr. Dhikr can be in the heart, qalb (7:205), in acts of ibadat (2:198, 2:200, 2:203), or during ordinary activities of daily living (5:4). The simple methods of dhikr that the prophet taught are: al isti'adhat, al istighfar, al tasbiih, al tahmiid, and al tahliil. The essence of these formulas is internal and not just the routine repetition of words.
Seeking refugee with Allah, al isti'adhat bi allah: One of the methods of self-purification is to seek refugee with Allah from various evils. The most important is to seek refugee with Allah from the shaitan, isti'adhat min al shaitan (7:200-201, Kunuuz al Sunnat 71) using the formula: 'audhu bi llaahi min al shaitan al shaitan al rajiim. Refuge can also be sought from humans who in their behavior and actions are like agents of shaitan, shaitan al ins (Kunuuz al Sunnat 78). Refuge should also be sought from shaitan that comes in the shape of the invisible jinn, al isti'adhat min shaitan al jinn. The human should always seek refugee from incurring the wrath of Allah, al isti'adhat min ghdhab al allah (Kunuuz al Sunnat 77). The wrath of Allah is incurred by committing the forbidden or failing to undertake obligatory duties. Refugee should also be sought from ignorance, al isti'adhat min al jahl, and from evil of any kind, al isti'adhat min al sharr (113:1-5, 114:1-6)
Seeking forgiveness from Allah, al istighfar: Seeking the forgiveness of Allah has a lot of good (Kunuuz al Sunnat 80). The Qur'an has emphasized istighfar in many verses (3:135). Believers are instructed to seek forgiveness (4:106). Forgiveness is sought at all times even late in the night (3:17). Forgiveness is sought for past, current and even future sins. Forgiveness is also sought for evil intentions that may lead to sin. Allah never tires of listening to His servants seeking forgiveness during the day and night. The formula for istighfar is 'astaghfirullah'
Tasbiih: Tasbiih can be in salat (Kunuuz al Sunnat 136) or outside salat. The Prophet taught several formulas, methods, and occasions for tasbiih that are recorded in the books of sunnat (Kunuuz al Sunnat 136). The basic formula for tasbih is 'subhana al laah'
Tahmiid: Tahmid is mentioned in several verses of the Qur'an (1:2). Those who praise the Lord achieve a lot of good (Kunuuz al Sunnat 137). The basic formula for tahmid is 'alhamudu li llaahi'
Tahliil: The basic formula for tahlil is 'la ilaaha illa al llaahu'. Tahliil has many virtues that have been mentioned in the books of sunnat (Kunuuz al Sunnat 136)
Supplication, dua: Dua is a type of worship, al dua ibadat. By making supplication to Allah whether in need or not, the human is reaffirming his need and dependence on the creator. Dua has many virtues and benefits, thawab al dua (Kunuuz al Sunnat 229). The Qur'an has provided several formulas for dua (2:201). The Prophet, in addition, taught us many formulas for dua and we have a big choice (Kunuuz al Sunnat 229). Allah ordered humans to supplicate at all time and all circumstances, al amr bi al dua (7:29). Allah will respond to the supplication either sooner or later, istijabat al dua (2:186). Four conditions are necessary for the response to the supplication to occur: tadharu'u consciousness of Allah, khawf (7:55), hope from Allah, raja or tam'a (7:56), ihsan (7: 56), commitment, ikhlas (40:14). Dua is at all times (18:28) and must be accompanied by tadharu'u, khawf, tam'an, raghbat, and rahbat (6:63, 7:55-56, 21:9, 32:16).
3.4 TAZKIYAT BY PHYSICAL ACTS OF WORSHIP
Salat: Salat is the best of works (Kunuuz al Sunnat 309). Being conscious of and observing the 5 obligatory prayers is commanded (Kunuuz al Sunnat 314). It is not possible to achieve tazkiyat without salat. Salat has a lot of impact on the human towards the good, aathaar al salat (p. 710-711 23:1-2, 29:45, 31:4-5, 70:19-35, 74:42-47, 87:14-15). Salat is expiation of sins, al salat kaffarat (Kunuuz al Sunnat 308, Kunuuz al Sunnat 309). Salat can be likened to a river passing infront of a person's door washing away sins 5 times a day (Kunuuz al Sunnat 308). The words and actions of salat are direct communication with Allah, al salat munajaat al llaah (Kunuuz al Sunnat 309). Salat is sacrifice, al salat qurbaan (Kunuuz al Sunnat 309). Night prayer, tahajjud, has special virtues (Kunuuz al Sunnat 143). It is carried out when others are enjoying their sleep. It has a deeper impact on the worshipper because it is possible to concentrate more at night when environmental sensory stimulation is minimal.
Fasting, Saum: Saum is is the zakat of the body (Kunuuz al Sunnat 325). The term zakat here has both a biological and metaphorical meaning of purifying. By controlling appetite, saum cleanses the body of excessive nutrients that are harmful. It also helps build up endurance and self-control that help cleanse the person of sins. Saum is a reason for forgiveness, ghufran (Kunuuz al Sunnat 325). It is expiation of sins, al saum kaffarat (Kunuuz al Sunnat 302).
Giving, infaq: The Qur'an has used the word sadaqat to refer to both obligatory and voluntary charity (9:60, 9:75). Sadaqat is a great virtue. Giving away wealth cleanses the giver from the disease of covetousness. Covetousness, al shuhh (59:9) is a negative human attribute. Giving even if small is significant (Kunuuz al Sunnat 138). Zakat cleanses the remaining wealth (9:103). The giving must be sincere preferably done without publicity (Kunuuz al Sunnat 138). Reminding the recipient of favors done to them, al mann, is one of the greatest sins. The meaning of sadaqat is wider than material giving. All good acts are considered sadaqat (Kunuuz al Sunnat 302, 303).
4.0 MODELS OF TAZKIYAT
4.1 REVELATIONS
You need a map to go travel in life. Life is unknown territory, an uncharted ocean. The map is charted by revelations that describe a model of purity to be emulated. The Qur’an is that map. The Qur'an describes in detail and brings to life the experiences of prophets and other righteous persons whose purity of heart is a model for others to follow. It also describes the future models of success in the hereafter that is another model and incentive to be good.
4.2 PROPHETS
Prophets as models: Prophets were sent as human models of tazkiyat (2:151). The Prophet Muhammad used to repeat to his companions that he was a human like them (Kunuuz al Sunnat 498). All other prophets were human models that proved the ability of a human to overcome inner weaknesses and evil tendencies to succeed in attaining a high level of purity. Prophets are not only a model but are an inspiration to all humans. They set the supreme human ideal as a goal post towards which all humans in all generations can strive. This is indeed the secret behind prophets being human messengers. Allah in His power could have revealed his message to humans in some other form. Angels for example could have delivered the message directly to humans. He could have inspired humans directly to know the message. He however chose to send human prophets so that they could teach as well as practice. Humans learn best by watching and participating in a real-life experience.
The Prophet Muhammad as a model: The Prophet Muhammad was a human model for all humanity. He lived an exemplary life so that the companions could see and emulate the best behavior. The Prophet Muhammad had the best of character, khulq adhiim (68:4, Kunuuz al Sunnat 482). His character and behavior reflected the Qur'an, kaana khulquhu al Qur'an (Kunuuz al Sunnat 482). In his humility he forbade people from elevating him above his position (Kunuuz al Sunnat 498) or to stand up for him (Kunuuz al Sunnat 498). He had a sense of mission, his eyes slept but his heart never went to sleep (Kunuuz al Sunnat 498). He lived very simply. He rode a donkey though he could easily procure a horse for himself (Kunuuz al Sunnat 481). He also did domestic chores for his family (Kunuuz al Sunnat 482). He ate simple food (Kunuuz al Sunnat 486). His household lived on water and dates for several days (Kunuuz al Sunnat 481). He wore rough clothes (Kunuuz al Sunnat 481). It should not be misunderstood that simple life means complete rejection of life. The Prophet liked perfumes, honey, and sweets (Kunuuz al Sunnat 482). He ate all types of dates (Kunuuz al Sunnat 482). His preferred food was thariid (Kunuuz al Sunnat 482).
3.4 THE COMPANIONS OF THE PROPHET
Abubakr: Abubakr was the best person after the Prophet (Kunuuz al Sunnat 51). He was given the title of al siddiq (Kunuuz al Sunnat 52) because of his truthfulness and attesting the truth. His faith was so strong that his faith would outweigh the faith of the rest of the ummah (Kunuuz al Sunnat 52). The Prophet prayed for him to be a pillar of the religion 'imaad al Islam (Kunuuz al Sunnat 52). Abubakr's life and achievements are testimony that the Prophet's prayer was answered. He used to cry a lot (Kunuuz al Sunnat 53) out of consciousness of Allah. He was very generous (Kunuuz al Sunnat 53). On one occasion he donated all his wealth in the path of Allah Kunuuz al Sunnat 54). He is considered the most merciful in the umma, arham al ummah (Kunuuz al Sunnat 53). However his kindness and leniency did not stop him from taking decisive action to safeguard the unity of the state and religion in the battles against the apostates, hurub al riddat.
Omar Ibn al Khattab: Omar comes after Abubakr in virtue. Omar was so strong that the shaitan feared him (Kunuuz al Sunnat 397). When Omar followed a path the shaitan would follow another one. He was tough for the sake of religion, shadiid fi diin llaah (Kunuuz al Sunnat 398). He lived a simple and hard life away from luxuries, taqashuff (Kunuuz al Sunnat 400).
3.5 THE RIGHTEOUS AND THE REFORMERS
After the Prophet and the companions, many righteous people and social reformers have led exemplary lives that can serve as models for all. In every community there are individuals who can be a model of good behavior for others. If they are not perfect overall, they have some traits and behaviors that can be emulated while their negative ones are left as they are.
3.6 BELIEVERS
Traits of believers: Believers of all generations and all places have manifested noble traits of purity of personality than can be emulated. The Qur’an has described traits of believers, sifat al mu’uminun (4:146, 8:2-4, 9:71, 23:1-9, 73:57-61, 25:63-74, 27:2-3, 32:15-16, 33:23, 42:36-39, 49:15, 57:19, 58:22, 70:22-24, 90:17-18). The detailed Qur'anic description was because Allah wanted to put before all humanity a model that could be emulated. The traits of believers are described below:
Spiritual traits: the believers have the following spiritual traits: believing Allah's signs, al iman bi ayat al llaah (23:58), responding to the call of Allah, al istijabat li al llaah (42:38); obedience of Allah, ta'at al llaah (9:71); repentence, taubat (4:146); reform, islah (4:146); i'itisaam bi al llaah 4:146; ikhlas (4:146); tawakkul (42:36); fear in the hearts, wajal al qulub (23:60).
Social traits: The believers have the following social traits: keeping away from vain talk, i 'iradh 'an al lahw (23:3), keeping the private parts from sinning, hifdh al furuuj (23:5); keeping promises and trusts, mura'at al 'ahad & al amanat (23:8); humility, tawadhu'u (25:63); enjoining good, amr al ma'aruf (9:71); forbidding the bad, nahy al munkar (9:71); attesting the truth (70:26); patience, sabr (90:17); kindness, marhamat (90:17);.forgiving when angry (42:37); undertaking jihad (49:15); mutual consultation, shura (42:38). They avoid the following evil acts: committing homicide, qatl al nafs (25:68); fornicatation, zina (25:68); false witness, shahadat al zuur (25:72); extending friendship to those who fight Allah and the Prophet (58:22); and big sins, kabair al ithm (42:37)
Ibadat traits: Keeping salat, muhafadhat ala al salat (23:9); establishment of salat, iqamat al salat (8:3); regularity of salat, mudawamat ala al salat (70:23); khushu'u fi al salat (23:2); prayer at night, qiyam al layl (25:64); and prostration, sujuud (25:64); giving, infaq (8:3); pay zakat, itau al zakat (9:71); giving the poor; and being moderate in giving, al i'itidal fi al infaq (25:67). They do not invoke no other than Allah, dua ghair al llaah (25:68).
5.0 PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
5.1 CHARACTER, HABITS, AND BEHAVIOR
Character is what determines what type of individual you are (Sahih Muslim 4:1362 hadith # 6221). Good character is a great virtue (Kunuuz al Sunnat 67, Kunuuz al Sunnat 69). The best gift that a parent can give a child is good character (Kunuuz al Sunnat 67). Habits and behaviors are quite consistent. Behavior is likely to be repeated. When you observe bad behavior even once make a note of it because it is likely to be repeated. Character is internal and is related to basic personality. Behavior is its outward manifestation. A habit is a persistent, repeated behavior which after a time becomes unconscious.
You can not judge people’s character unless you have interacted with them and seen their behavior. Bad manners and behavior reflect a bad character. Good behavior reflects good character. There are exceptional situations when a behavior may not be reflection of underlying character. These are the exceptions and are only temporary. Consistent observation of behavior over a long time reveals true character.
The following are some of the components of a positive character: Piety, generosity, charity, chastity, trust, humility, balance, moderation, patience, endurance, cooperation, forgiving, ignoring stupid company, reconciliation, honor and dignity, shyness, modesty, integrity, courage, and wisdom. These traits are best manifested in an atmosphere of positive attitudes, optimism, and behavior. Positive behavior includes: controlling the appetite by eating little, fasting, sexual self-control, fulfilling needs of others, mercy, good words and acts; and good deeds which wipe out bad ones.
5.2 PRINCIPLED AND PURPOSIVE LIFE
You must have a principled life. To succeed you must be guided in life by high moral principles and not expediency. You must make responsible choices and stick with their consequences. You must understand that there are limits to freedom. You may be constrained by previous commitments in making a new choice. After making the first choice you have only a limited range of later choices that you can make. A complete and well- balanced personality requires consistency, constancy and moving ahead following well defined goals and milestones.
Life must have a purpose and goals. The highest purpose is achieving the pleasure of Allah. In addition to seeking the pleasure of Allah, you must set personal goals both long and short term. The goals have to be reasonable expectations, and imaginative. Personal goals must be specific, actionable, attainable, and challenging. You must be committed to the goals and must be attuned to any feedback that helps refine or modify goals. If you are without a clear sense of direction, you will make many mistakes and eventually fail. Personal goals should stay permanent for a reasonable period of time. Frequent shifting of goal posts is a cause of failure.
5.3 SELF-IMPROVEMENT AND TAKING CHARGE
You can not improve yourself without effort. You must make the intention to be a better person and take action to achieve your goals. Life is not chance. Everything that occurs is pre-destined. You however do not know your predestination. You have to work hard, search for it, use your will power and choice that Allah gave you. Accept personal responsibility for mistakes. Do not blame others for your problems. Learn from your past experiences, positive and negative. Good manners or experiences should be reinforced while bad ones should be avoided.
Keep in mind always the three ultimate objectives: (a) the pleasure of Allah, ridha al laah & marudhaat al llaah (2:207, Kunuuz al Sunnat 510), (b) wisdom, hikmah, and (c) success, falaah. The real and ultimate success is that of the hereafter (3:185).
You can not succeed on your own; this is a world of interdependence. You must learn to net-work and collaborate with others in synergistic relations. Good manners and behavior are necessary for positive and meaningful interaction with people. You need to learn to respect and protect the rights of others so that your rights may also be respected. Every action, behavior, or habit has consequences. Always consider and think about the long-term consequences before you speak or act.
Learn to distinguish between what you want and what you need. Wants are emotional; needs are rational. Always choose needs over wants. Be realistic. Do not live in a dream world. Dreaming is good in motivating you and developing your creative thinking. Dreaming has limits if it obscures correct perception of reality. Never entertain illusions about your strengths and weaknesses. Never deceive yourself. Never allow others to deceive you by praising you and giving you attributes you lack. Such persons are your true enemies. Confront your weaknesses and do not deny them. Do something about correcting them
Develop a positive attitude. Be optimistic and develop positive behavior. The world is essentially good and the hereafter much better. There is more good than evil. You can always succeed in the long run if you do not become pessimistic and give up. Look at problems of life in perspective. What may look big may not be so in the long run. You may hate today what turns out to be good tomorrow. See and emphasize the positive in any problem.
Happiness is not an objective in life. Pursuing happiness can be running after an illusion since happiness is not definable. The realistic objective is contentment and satisfaction with yourself and what you have. However contentment should not be understood in a negative sense of refusing to take active steps to improve some of the negative things in your character and behavior.
You should consider yourself as living in the future. Life on earth is just a transition. Always prepare for the future (both what remains of your life on earth and life in the hereafter). A futuristic outlook will enable you to deal with setbacks of life. You should always know that the future could always be better.
5.4 CONSTITUENTS OF A GOOD CHARACTER
Amanat, integrity is when actions are in conformity with your values. Values are universal. Knowledge of what is bad is innate. The Prophet (PBUH) taught that evil is what scratches your chest making you unconfortable, al sharr ma haaka fi al sadr. Religious teachings of what is right and what is wrong only reinforce what good nature already knows. Integrity in essence means successfully carrying and discharging the trust. The trust may be moral or material. Moral trusts include being truthful, trustworthy, and keeping promises and undertakings. Material trusts are property and financial rights of others that must not be violated. Integrity is needed in work (28:26), leadership (12:54), and moral guidance of others (7:68). A distinguishing human attribute of humans is acceptance to carry trust, haml al amanat (33:72). A person with integrity fulfils the trust, adau al amanat (4:58). Believers are conscious of the trust, ri'ayat al amanat (23:8). Any breach of integrity is a breach of the trust, khiyanat al amanat (8:27). Never utter an untruth. It is better to keep quiet even in situations in which silence makes you look a fool. There are no white lies. All lies are an untruth and should never be uttered. Your promises and commitments are sacred. Never make any if you are not sure of keeping them. Keeping promises indicates both integrity and efficiency. An organized person who knows what he can or can not do and who manages his time well is less likely to make promises he can not keep.
Shaja'at, courage,: The essence of courage is to stand up to evil with the full realization that such a stand may invite unpleasant consequences for you. This is under the general rubric of forbidding evil, nahy al munkar (3:104). The supreme level of courage is to face one self and stand up to the inner desires and passions, hiwa al nafs (79:40). The high level is to The highest level of courage is to attempt to change evil physically. The middle level is to speak out against it evil. The lowest level is to hate evil in the heart. Courage is needed morally, physically, and emotionally. Moral courage is needed to know your-self, self-criticize, and decide to improve. Social courage is needed to stick to morally right choices in your life even though the society around you may behave differently. Physical courage is needed to stand up for your rights and face the consequences.
Hikmat, wisdom, is a sign of maturity. Being given hikmat is being given a lot of good, (p 344 2:269). Learn the difference between ‘ilm and hikmat. ‘Ilm is knowledge. Hikmat is a higher level of understanding and using knowledge taking into consideration previous experiences and high moral guiding principles. You are better off with less knowledge and more hikmat. A lot of 'ilm with no hikmat is positively dangerous.
Sabr, patience is needed to deal with problems of life. Problems must be met with inner strength and a sense of hope. Lack of patience is associated with wrong choices and moves. Endurance and perseverance are part of patience. Patience and perseverance is the ability to stick it out and weather all adversities with a strong heart. You must arm yourself to avoid the human tendency to be impatient in expectation of an event or when afflicted by a calamity.
Tawadhu'u, humility is the beginning of wisdom and is part of iman (KUNUUZ AL SUNNAT 462). Know that you have limitations. Do not deceive yourself that you are superior whatever you may be endowed with. Always remember that there are others who may be your equals or actually better than you. Whatever you may have, you are insignificant in front of Allah the Almighty.
'Iffat, self-restraint: 'Iffat has a lot of rewards, ajr al iffat (KUNUUZ AL SUNNAT 386). The Qur'an has discussed it in many verses (2:273, 4:6, 21:91). This is because a human has passions and inner evil promptings that if not controlled will lead to evil action. There are also many temptations in the external social environment that can lead to evil unless countered by a strong self-restraint and self-c0ntrol. Sex is the most powerful drive in humans that can lead to evil. Chastity and sexual discipline is necessary for individual and societal well being. Keep away from zina and what could lead to it. Zina is taken in its comprehensive sense and not the physical act of fornication. Zina of the eye, the mouth, the tongue are destructive to marriage and society in general.
Haya, modesty: Haya is a very important component of character and is considered part of iman. To be modest is to set limits beyond which there is immorality and sin. A modest person stays shy of those limits and will refrain from things that are clearly permissible but if done in excess can lead to transgression of the limits. Such transgression could also occur by mistake with no malicious intent. Haya is part of iman (Kunuuz al Sunnat 206). The whole character of Islam is based on it, khulq al Islam al haya (Kunuuz al Sunnat 206). The Prophet said that if one has no haya at all then he can do anything. Haya is therefore the protecting barrier against evil. Haya is always good and can never be negative, al haya khayr kullihi (Kunuuz al Sunnat 206). Haya is a decoration of the person who has it, al haya zinat (Kunuuz al Sunnat 207). Haya is the way of all messengers, al haya min sunan al mursalin (Kunuuz al Sunnat 206).
I'itidaal & wastiyyat, equilibrium and moderation: Moderation is the best approach. Be balanced in your attitudes and actions. Avoid extreme positions because you can never have all the facts and full understanding of a particular situation. Taking a middle path gives you a chance to change positions and follow what is right and what is best. You however should never be moderate where evil and immorality are concerned. You must take a clear and extreme position for what is moral and right. Stick your head up high to be counted among supporters of the good and the moral and among opponents of evil. Your actions regarding an evil situation should, however, be moderate to avoid creating new problems that may be worse than the original problem. Be moderate in expenditure; not wasteful and not miserly. Be calm and controlled in moments of emotional arousal, good and bad. Wrong and inappropriate decisions are likely at moments of anger or emotional excitement when the normal balance is lost
Simplicity is beauty and power. Make your daily life simple; you will get strength. Do not live in much luxury or crowd your mind with so much of worldly, dunia, concerns. Consider your physical environment as an aid to fulfilling your mission and not an end in itself. Wealth and its accumulation can be a temptation, fitnat (Kunuuz al Sunnat 420). Do not seek to have more than the minimum needs in dress and beddings (Kunuuz al Sunnat 424).
Al hasanaat, good acts and words wipe away or neutralize the bad. You should hasten to do good. While always engaged in doing good, there is little room for the bad. Never injure anyone with your tongue. Say good or keep quiet. Learn to work with others in doing good and forbidding bad. Sharing and helping others helps you become even a better human being. It gives you a sense of mission beyond your physical needs. Give charity continuously; it cleanses both your wealth and your soul. Putting interests of your brothers in front of yours helps you discover your humanity and conquers your egoistic tendencies. Iithaar involves doing good for others at the expense of some inconvenience to yourself for the sake of brotherhood with no expectation of any reward. Respecting the rights of the older people (Kunuuz al Sunnat 68). Removing any annoyance from the road (Kunuuz al Sunnat 69).
Keep good company. Look for and stay in the company of wise people. You will learn the good from them. Their company will reinforce the good in you. Time spent in such good company is time taken away from possible bad company or bad influences. Do not trust or deal with bad people except in trying to correct and lead them to the right. Ignore stupid and immoral company. They will have a negative impact on you however careful you are. The least they can do is to decrease your sensitivity to evil and increase your toleration for it.
5.5 ASSERTIVENESS AND SELF-CONFIDENCE
Self-control: Being assertive is learning to take control. A person who has self-control can stand up to the temptations of shaitan. The following are needed for you to take control of your self: self- confidence, self-esteem, self-reliance, self-control, self-discipline, and self-development.
Assertiveness: Assertiveness is a feeling of self-worth in dealing with others. It involves a lot of self-control. Non-assertive people may end up being influenced by a bad environment or they may make wrong choices that they regret later. Non-assertive persons can not interact well with others because they can not state their opinions or advance their interests or the interests of the group they belong to. A non-assertive attitude becomes in the long run a feeling of inferiority that could be exploited. Non-assertive persons may feel so bad about themselves that they eventually react in socially destructive ways. Non-assertive persons are easily influenced by bad company and end up committing evil. Assertiveness is not aggression but is closely related. Do not cross the line between the two. You can show anger without being bad. Learn to state your opinion without being hostile. Learn to defend your position without being defensive.
Self-confidence: Self-confidence is to know yourself, your strengths and weaknesses, to be comfortable with what you are, and to be psychologically secure. Children are born with a lot of self-confidence. They lose it as they grow through various negative experiences. Others’ views and comparing one self with others are among the causes of loss of self-confidence. True confidence is expressed and shows quietly. Many in-confident people make noise to hide their inner weakness.
Self-esteem: You can raise your self-esteem by being secure psychologically about yourself. You must accept and appreciate what you are. You have to love yourself and know that whatever Allah endowed you with is the best for you. Look around you and identify people you admire. Try to emulate the qualities you admire in them. Stay with good people who radiate self-esteem and confidence. Congratulate and encourage yourself on any progress you make in emulating good behavior. Learn to compliment and congratulate others who have traits and behaviors that you admire. This will keep you from negative attitudes and diseases like envy and will push you along on the road to developing your own self-esteem. Avoid people with bad character and behavior. Others who do not know will consider you to be one of them. It is easier for a big mountain to move than for bad character to change. Do not repeat a mistake. Remember that character is consistent. Bad behavior is rarely an accident. It can be forgiven but can not be erased
Self-reliance: Self-help and self-improvement are very important for the individual. They are in essence taking charge of your life, relying on yourself in solving problems, and taking the initiative to improve. It is only emotionally mature individuals who can rely on themselves. Dependency is childhood. Self-help and self-reliance should however not be taken to the extreme. There are occasions when you need help and must have networKunuuz al sunnat for providing this help. Refusing to ask for help when needed is a cause of stress and is not wise. Economic self-reliance is necessary in order not to be a burden on others and also to assert your self-esteem. However the need to keep your self-esteem should never make you refuse to seek help when you actually need it. A vital distinction must be made between being childish and child-like. Childishness is dependency and inability to achieve emotional maturity, self-confidence, and self-esteem. Child-like on the other hand is a very positive attribute. It emphasizes being explorative, taking initiative, being bold to experiment, being optimistic, and not feeling defeated or cornered. These behaviors are found in children and tend to annoy parents. They are very useful for the adult. The mistake is for children to grown up too soon or for adults to regress to childhood in the way they use these attributes.
Self-discipline: Self discipline is needed for success. Control your whims and emotions. Stickability is a good trait; do not accept defeat easily. Act according to long-term and not short-term interests. Do not act impulsively. Follow your head and not your emotions. Trust your instincts.
Projecting a positive image: Projecting a positive image helps build credibility and leads to success. We are not talking about a phoney image that is discovered sooner or later with disastrous consequences. The image must be backed up by real achievements. It is better to under promise but over deliver. Perceptions are very strong determinants of behavior. You have to keep away from negative perceptions and cultivate positive ones. Two individuals looking at the same reality have different perceptions because of their prior life experiences. Always evaluate yourself. The perceived image may not be the intended image. The difference is crucial. Self- confidence and self-discipline are ingredients of a positive image. You have to start by discovering your strengths and enhancing them. You have to acknowledge your weaknesses and compensate for them. A positive image needs maintenance by regular self-evaluation and taking corrective action where needed. A positive image must be maintained in difficult times; this will require extra effort. Keeping company with people who have a positive self-image will help you develop your own image. Positive thinking is contagious; it spreads to those around. Your communication with others (letter, fax, telephone, and conversation) is an exercise in image projection. Physical appearance (clothes, hair, cleanliness) also project image. Dress well but not for arrogance. Good manners, correct etiquette, and sensitivity enhance the image. Your voice, handshake, smiles, body language, and eye contact can make or unmake your image. Your posture and manner of walking can tell a lot about you. Solving your personal problems and keeping out of depression, anxiety or stress help maintain your positive self-image
Entrepreneurial attitude: You need to develop an entrepreneurial attitude. This requires developing initiative, optimism, and self-confidence in order to bolster your creativity. Take calculated risks. Look for opportunities and exploit them. Perseverance and determination are necessary for continued success.
